So let us begin at the beginning. Lost my work and sitting at home twiddling my thumbs. So, what to do? Someone, somewhere, told me I should look into the Internet and do a course on it too. And thus it began. Whilst doing this course I fell through the cracks but I was shown the ‘bum marketing’ way. Basically consisting of article marketing which consists of writing a short article and trying to flog some products on it at the same time. One of the sites advertised was Squidoo and furthermore having made many speeches in my life, I thought it was something I could do or at least give it a damn good bash. And thus My Squidoo journey began. Slowly, surely, I will at least endeavour to give you a short précis on what happened there. And then move onto the New World Order, which is another thing which completely, and utterly flummoxes me. Now I’m not as dumb as I look stupid, or, perish the thought, I am? So between Squidoo and the New World Order my well known orderly mind became completely and utterly shattered, and to be truthful I still can’t make heads or tails out of either of them. Join the club?
Photo courtesy of Steve Thompson.
A short resume of my life prior to Squidoo. I was well educated both at junior and senior school. Before proceeding to attend University I decided to do my National Service first in the then Rhodesia. Unfortunately whilst doing this I became profoundly deafened after a long illness. So bang went my University ideals. Never mind, I then went to Gwebi Agricultural College and obtained a diploma there. Furthermore, since then I have also owned my own farms. What this basically means is that. I knew a bit about marketing, I knew a bit about entrepreneurship, I knew a bit about financing and business, and I also knew a bit about controlling and managing a vibrant and large work force. Surely then, this would be in my favour, beginning a new start on the Internet and bum marketing?A fat lot of good it all did me.
Anyway I am in (at the time) the bum marketing site Squidoo. I never knew my arse (bum) from my elbow (self explanatory).
Somehow I managed to get into the forum which in those far oft days was a lively place and I asked for some help. The moral of the story was, ‘be nice to everybody’. I got it and tried my first article and in which I must have had 250000 products on display. Lo and behold, some people liked it, how could this be? I also got a few comments and flushed with pride worked out how to visit the one who had left the comment and I saw things there which made me realise how poor my opening article was. But believe it or not once shown, I’m a quick learner and got better and better. So write a little, visit the forum little and sometimes have the blues a little. Then one day I noticed an image in one of the forum posts and it appealed to me. What this person had written there appealed to me even more and I had a great belly laugh. It certainly was not along the lines of ‘be nice to everybody’. It was the devil ‘hisself’ and slowly but surely a friendship formed which is still going strong today. It was none other than Bard. I began to get better and better. I also became what was known as an Angel, a special privilege which enabled me to bless a lens (article) which gave it a temporary boost in ranking. I was loving it there and winning medal after medal (Purple Stars), but nary a cent did I ever make. Oddly enough I was also reaching number one in category however temporarily and was the first inkling I received how everything was in fact, a complete farce. You see whenever I knocked anyone out of position it never lasted for more than a week if that long and a pay out depended on lasting for a month or more, top 100 or something. So here I was number 1 but couldn’t even last in the top 100 for a month. How could this be? But I am getting a bit ahead of myself. I met some of the nicest people I ever knew there and I think I was a four time Squid Angel. Then suddenly things (for me at least) began to sour. Management in the form of Seth Godin kept on changing the goal posts. So what was OK yesterday became not OK today. My great pal Bard was banned from the forum after a whole lot of do-gooders decided to gang up on him. I know, I was an Angel at the time and the only one who stood up for him. He actually had done nothing wrong. Since when has it become a crime to speak your mind and none were more erudite than him? This then, soured me, and forever afterwards, and things which I had deliberately overlooked became more important to me. Amongst these being, ‘why is it that the same old people remain constantly at the top never ending or changing’? It never made sense to me and it still doesn’t, akin to being top of the pops forever and a day. Something smelled and the smell got worse and worse. Yes, you get enduring classics which will forever be popular but they do not stay at the top forever. It gradually dawned on me that there was a kind of ‘elitism’ and they made damn
sure they stayed at the top whatever the cost. The forum was an absolute farce being run by selected lensmasters busy being nice to those they liked and horrible (in a nice way) (sic!) to those they didn’t. Rocket Moms went bweep along with all their cupcakes et al and there never was a Rocket Dads, perish the thought. More importantly, how can a site make money from yours and others work yet you and yours never see a cent of it? And what did management do? Squat, but obviously agreed with all this. Eventually I resigned as an Angel on principle after two Squids de-friended me on Facebook because I never would agree to their diatribe. ” For these truths hold good for everything there is. For a principle which everyone must have, who understands anything that is, is not a hypothesis. Evidently then, such a principle is the most certain of all. Which principle this is, let us proceed to say, it is, that the same attribute cannot at the same time belong, and not belong, to the same subject in the same respect.” ARISTOTLE.
So what I did was I moved what I considered my best stuff and most of my Purple Hearts onto Moving Pieces and left my puerile stuff on Squidoo where it belongs. I now have 34 works in progress there, all stuff I had written about before but apparently one has to keep tweaking them or some such nonsense. I see little point in the constant tweaks and whereas once I was great and am now a nowhere man again, so in essence not much has really changed. It is of course saddening to give so much of oneself and ones life to be tossed aside on another whim. Never mind it’s not the first time it has happened and also happened to my country, now, times two. Which brings us to New World Order.
Well here I am at Gwebi Agricultural College being taught the fundamentals and foundations of farming. During Farm Management my old Plumtree schoolmate Ives, well his Dad is a visiting lecturer filling us in on tax, which is actually his job. Has just come to lecture us as part of his job as we are the future cream of the country and its crops. So he is busy telling us of the many schemes which are legitimate ways of not paying tax. In the old days they knew it is actually rich people and entrepreneurs which make money for any country. So he started with special initial allowance. Kept very simple so people will understand. As a farmer I
have made a $200000 profit all of which is taxable at the given rate. However I can spend this money on the farm without having to pay tax. For example I build a dam which now gives me the capacity to irrigate my crops. By doing this I can improve my yields and also branch out into other outlets, winter Wheat as an example. In this way I am improving my farm and the countries Agricultural output so we are winning both ways. Unfortunately Joe in a job is getting a set salary at a set tax rate and there is no way he can get around it and he resents this. What Joe in a job never realises is that, one day when I have to pay tax as I have used up all the schemes. In one fell swoop I will pay more tax (just this once) than Joe in a job will do if he lived ten lifetimes. We were not known as the breadbasket of Africa for nothing you know despite international sanctions. Yet people find this difficult to understand. Look at America just lately as a prime example. Which brings us around to banks. I have yet to meet anyone (apart from old family money), who has managed to do this without at first borrowing money from a bank. So from my point of view I find this incessant talking about banks being the New World Order and out to do everybody in, very hard to fathom. A bank like any other business is primarily there to make money? Now the bank takes as a bigger chance on you as you do on it? So now onto conspiracy theory’s and everything else. People just have to realise that not everybody is an American. My late father for example was an Englishman and Royal Navy man during World War two. He was part of that breed who believed America only came into the war after they had won it? All evidence to the contrary notwithstanding. So he took them with a pinch of salt. One of the first conspiracy theories I heard about the New World Order was when America was preparing to go to war against Iraq the first time. Didn’t Saddam invade Kuwait first? Anyway, my dad and I are watching the news on TV and Daddy Bush (George W senior) is giving a press conference. He is warning Iraq that unless they pull out, America is going to whack them. My dad starts laughing fit to fall out his chair, so I ask him (being deaf), “what is funny?” He goes into a heavy imitation of an American accent and says, “that’s notta threat, it’s notta joke, it’s just the way it’s gonna be.” And nearly falls of his chair laughing again and I had to laugh with him. I just couldn’t help it.
As things happen I am in Ireland when the second and best yet conspiracy theory begins. I’m milking cows in the parlour when
the guy I work with receives a telephone message from his wife about the horror of the twin towers. We both can’t wait to finish milking and get back home and find out more about this on the news. Baby Bush (George W junior) is now the President. In all honesty I liked George Junior or baby Bush as he is known in Ireland. Throughout all this time, not for one moment did it ever occur to me that this was all a plot instigated by banks and the New World Order. In fact I knew nothing about any of this, just that I liked baby Bush and I loved America and considered this an absolute outrage. Keeping it there, what was President Bush supposed to do?Perchance some one on Squidoo can tell me yet I highly doubt it? You see my take on New World Orders has next to nothing to do with capitalism as epitomised by America becoming such a great country so many years ago, but, has everything to do with wishy washy left wing politicians and there lackeys giving away hard earned things to every sob story. So yes, the EU is a left wing NWO plot, no question in my mind about that, but, am still on hold with America albeit fast losing patience. The long and short of all this is, be careful who you vote for you might just get it. People these days have been so brainwashed between places like Squidoo and the New World Order it is becoming frightening. Whatever happened to common sense? One thing is for certain though, people who can really pull us out of this mess need to be encouraged and not scorned. As much as I hate to say this Joe in a job and Joe peasant are not going to do this no matter how heavy your bleeding heart. It’s about time people woke up to reality again. You don’t believe me? Just look around you.