Women: Demons or Angels?

A deaf mans look at women: demons or angels.

Having been profoundly deaf since my late teens, here is a short story on my take on Women: Demons or Angels? It always amazes me that in this day and age, men still appear to have outmoded views on women and what they are capable of.I have often wondered about this and whether there is any truth about it and if so, why so?This embraces all cultures and some more so than others. It has it’s origins almost since time began, but I do believe that we have evolved since then.Throughout History many diverse cultures have had women Queens for example, yet the mantra still persists that somehow men are far superior than our fairer, more kindly counterparts. Recently we have witnessed this yet again in the American elections.

Why is it that men have such a low esteem of women?

Is this true?

I’m going to look into my own personal life from now on, as if truth be told. I always had a very low opinion of women, almost bordering on misogynism. It took my wife to tell me;”Kevin,I often wonder why you dislike women so much, because if you think about your life, then women have been the best to you”. Apart from my college mates, who were in a class of their own, I thought about what she said and she was quite right.
I then wondered why I thought like that but it has it’s beginnings in what happened to me and what I saw when I was in my formative years. By this I mean when I first began to notice and take an interest in women outside of my previous experiences of being a child. I would enjoy telling you about this but many will not like it. Be that as it may, it’s what happened and how I saw things, sometimes from the other side and having undergone some major changes in my life at a vulnerable age. I have no regrets except to say I wasted a life time with outmoded views and now when it’s too late to fix anything, I’ve seen the error of my ways. Perhaps better late than never hey!At about 16 years of age, ( believe it or not I was considered as charismatic ) and I was at a New Years party and I had a mate who had polio in his left arm and then one day playing polo-cross, he had an accident and lost the sight of one eye .Just after 12, I went outside for some fresh air and bumped into him crying.We chatted and he told me how he wished he could have a girlfriend but no one was interested in him. I told him truthfully, that I didn’t think he should put to much into it, as at that age ,they are shallow and only interested in good sportsmen and good looking guys and that they grow up and then start looking at what a guys like, more than the other things.Perhaps that encounter was the beginning of my attitude because I thought of him often .One day at school my women music teacher stopped me and told me that I was the saddest boy she had ever known.
Two years later lying in Hospital, I was to receive fruit baskets from the boys and staff of all the houses in the school I went to. This flummoxed me as I had had a very checkered school career, more often being in trouble than not. I also got a card from my music teacher which I have never forgotten. I can still remember the words she wrote today.
The card she sent depicted, mares and their foals in a beautiful green pasture. The words she wrote were;
‘Dear Kevin ,I have just heard that you have been left deaf following something in the army and I’m left horrified by this and so I could not address this letter to you as Spook. I also feel that the army have treated you abominably etc.etc.I chose this card because it reminded me of you, especially you the cricket player‘.
Years later I was to make enormous headway out of this card, more often than not when my mates were teasing me about being a poor cricketer. I would then relate this story to them, putting heavy emphasis on how beautiful I must have been to watch; just like all these mares and foals frolicking around in this green field. Poetry in motion and all.
It drove them nuts as they didn’t know how to retaliate.What I’m leading up to is that she didn’t have to do any of this. I wasn’t a member of her family or a close friend .She did it because she is like most women, kind and caring.
I wrote to her for years after coming out of Hospital, mostly whenever I was feeling down. She told me many things amongst them, that I had been naughty at school, but never bad. I just did boyish things and I got caught doing them.
But what she was best at, was telling me not to worry about women to much and those treating me like that, weren’t worth knowing anyway and she was dead right. I often wonder what happened to her as I lost track. As people; we are all over the world now, due to that lunatic Mugabe.

Other Influences.

Nobody cares, actually, somebody does.

Then of course there was my lip-reading teacher and the Community Sister in charge of my rehabilitation, women naturally and all who gave me of there time and helped me whenever I was down, which was often enough.When I had my implant of course it was done by a male surgeon, but everybody else was female, all the rehabilitators and nursing staff and first class they all were to.My wife once asked me if when I could hear,would I have gone out with a deaf girl? I was about to reply, it depends what she looks like but managed to reply; probably not, which is a very sad indictment; happy to say that I went out with plenty of women once I was better and learnt to lip-read.Having said that I also know plenty of women who have married people in wheelchairs and those with lost limbs etc. A lot of stunners they were too.

Meeting the Wife.

How it came about.

I met my wife when her dad was doing a sheep course, run by one of the farmers who lived near me. They got friendly and at the end of the course were having a few jars. Now you might not beleive this, but it’s what happened. Anyway my future wife was there and started nagging her dad and in exasperation, he turned to her and said, “what you need is someone who is 6 foot tall and deaf”.The farmer heard this and replied, “I know someone like that”. He arranged for them to come and have lunch with him on Sunday and then he invited me. Well one thing led to another, but her dad was right. Sorry, couldn’t resist it.Apart from everything else, women do a lot more. They look after the children ,they wash ,they cook, they iron, they do the housekeeping, they sew,they knit, they crochet and of course they nag, who wouldn’t? They also get a lot of headaches!Here in Ireland on the dairy farm where I was working, it was mating season. Generally we would stick in a teaser bull to help us spot whichever cow’s were going into oestrus, so we could then AI them. At this time they were being housed as it is too cold to leave them out overnight and they are left in a narrow causeway with bedding on either side.Now I had been watching this cow all day, with the teaser bull hassling her all day, running and chasing her endlessly and she is not ready at this time. Finishing milking in the evening I took another check and this was still going on and I also knew it would go on all night.
I felt so sorry for the cow and then realised that, maybe this is what it’s like for real women as well. I couldn’t think of anything worse especially when there, (mens) attention is not wanted. I’m suprised it took me so long to realise this. Anyway when I got home that night I said to my wife; “I finally know why you women get so many headaches.”
Well, women: demons or Angels?
I’m going to opt for Angels unreservedly, but go on and have your say and all welcome.

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About spookmoor

I'm a 61 year old happily married man with three grown up children. I lost all my hearing as an eighteen year old whilst doing National Service and then had a Cochlear Ear Implant twenty years later. I love trying to explain these things to people and bits about my life. I never thought so at the time, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Thus one gets Random ramblings from a man who has seen a lot with a touch of humour underlying all.
This entry was posted in Culture & Society, Farming, Relationships & Family and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to Women: Demons or Angels?

  1. Wendy Williams says:

    Spook, this topic has elicited much comment in our household this morning ( and sadly I am not always at my best just having left my bed to prepare for a day at the coal face !). As a fellow Gwebi-ite, Joe has had,on occasion, attempted to hold forth on some views on women of which I have had to more clearly explain to him what is an appropriate expression of his views and what is not!! Needless to say who has had the last word but I can hear some mutterings from the other room about demons preceded by bloody woman………….. And not a single mention of Angels?? LOL

  2. frankiekay says:

    Being a pragmatic woman, I find it best to be better than men at the things Im good at – usually they come round in the end. I use my looks (or used to use my looks!) if I can, with no
    qualms and if I cant chat up a man, I dont bother with him. So Im guessing in your case, if you had been sexist, Id have walked away with not a backward glance – I dont beat my head against a brick wall! I realise my attitude is also sexist, but I go with it. Perceptions change slowly, and Im sure there will be “advances” and regressions. That being said, I do not agree with gender discrimination before the law.

  3. margie says:

    I’m an angel in demons clothing….for protection purposes only.

  4. You do bring a smile to my face. God bless!

  5. Gomer Pyle says:

    I loved the post ….. left me smiling …….
    Reading through the posts, I happened on Hambalapaside comment and I truly love his woman doctors comment … the best I have heard in many a year, and from my perspective, sums it all up so succinctly …. May I repeat it again ?
    ” All women are crazy, you just have to decide what kind of crazy and how much of it you are willing to put up with” – thanks Hambalapaside …..

    I would like to think though, that there are more Angels than Demons …..
    Thanks again for your share Spook – very special ! Be Blessed !

  6. HG says:

    Lots to digest Spook!
    But my first thought is, are you implying that men generally are born with a natural or God given (depending on ones belief) low regard of women regardless of upbringing or life experiences with either the demons or the angels of the opposite sex?

  7. Tess Bold says:

    Hi Spook….for every man there is a woman…demon or angel. Not all woman are kind and gentle, but I like to think the majority are. I believe in most marriages, its how a man makes a woman respect him, by how he loves her….that brings out the best in most wives. So am glad to have read your opinion.

  8. Hi Spook,

    You have converted me, I am now an avid reader of your words. As a woman, from Africa where we are often regarded as second class citizens … I think the Tribe of Women has both Angels and Demons. I am however an optimist and believe the Angels outnumber the Demons.

  9. Mj says:

    What a great story Spook loved reading it thank you nice to know that I can be an Angel too

  10. msasa13 says:

    Rather a lot to take in at once. Interesting to see that you were aware that girls matured into women who could see past outer appearances, but that you held on to your prejudices. Which explains why men can rise in business or politics, but the ill-favoured woman has Everest to climb. All women aren’t angels, just as all men aren’t ‘chauvinist pigs’ (pardon the expression – most I know are fine but there are a few!)
    Never too late, bring your kids up to see people as you do! Strength breeds confidence breeds tolerance breeds compassion – and no more need for headaches!

  11. Maggi Mackay says:

    Thank you Spook. If all women of the world, and I am sure they are there, are anything like your teacher then things are good. So many times I get to meet women who think they are “God’s gift to all”, are nasty, self absorbed, can swear a Sgt Major under the table, and nit pick any and everything. Sadly I will categorise them as demon’s myself, but then the flip side of the coins those with old and beautiful souls. We have a lady who comes in where I work and always brings us a plate of eats. She is kind, strong and we all love her to bits. She is our angel.

    • spookmoor says:

      Great comment Maggi, perchance it’s just a sign of the times which we live in today? God’s gift to all, nasty, self absorbed and can swear a Sgt Major under the table. Is it any wonder then divorce is so rampant?

  12. Most angels, A few demons, but most, to quote a close woman friend of mine, a brilliant doctor…A bit crazed. “Les, all women are crazy, you just have to decide what kind of crazy and how much of it you are willing to put up with”

  13. davidac@tampabay.rr.com says:

    Kevin, I have just read your post and to be honest, it is so rich with content I cannot immediately respond. I do want to thank you for opening up and giving us this personal information. For me, it opens my eyes to something I never comprehended and helps me be a better person. I may well be wrong, but the fact that you can make this public “confession” tells me you are in a good place. I salute you!

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