Oh what splendid times there were living and growing up on a farm in Rhodesia. All the different people and all the different languages. The wonderful time before people learnt to hate. We got around communicating in what was known as Chilapalapa. So here is a little something for my many friends on the Facebook group. The pleasure you have all given me and all the laughs. Just for you.
Manje ena bwiya ro time skati tina ena bitchana piccanin. Mama endi Baba ena kona makuru fum enda maningi ma workers. Ro cooki katina ena ro gardeni boy futi, a man of all talents. Futi ena kona ro numba 1 sense of humour like.
Munyeskati Mama andi Baba ena funa hamba tamba tamba rapo kusiko, buti, ena aikona funa tata ro piccanin ka ena, too much trouble. Ini ku ensa? Manje ena usa maningi skop aikona? Hungwa ena kwanisa ku basopa ena aikona? Shuwa ena shuwa, so Hungwa ena nika tina scaf skati Mama endi Baba ena hambiri ku tamba tamba. Ena ensa tina mfana sheka sterek naro ma stories kaena. Shuwa heaven God.
So, Hungwa ena chera tina karo time ena subenza fo Judd (Judge) Jackson. Tina ena krumah Hungwa wena krumah manga kupera. Hungwa ena krumah ‘tsuh’, mina chonisa wena. Ena tata ro clean one white serviette endi faka ena over ro arm kaena. Pasi karo elbow endi ena hamba garra rapo ro corner karo dining room. Ena shara so kubanga 30 seconds and then clears throat (coughs), endi krumah in English:
“More wine darling?”
Manji ena bwiya rapo tina garra endi pretendi ku pour wine rapo mkaka glass katina, endi ena wipe ro bottle after each pour. Tina sheka stereki. Ena so, shuwa heaven God aiziko manga, ena ro subenza kamina rapo Judd Jackson, (coughs) endi once again.
I’m leaving the best till last.
Manje Hungwa ena aikona tanda maboon, ini ndowa mina aikona asi? Eni chera mina, very bad peoples. Kangera ro inja, skati ena bwiya marunga ena aikona asi rapo kia, butti ena English, inja aiziko cheeki, and now Hungwa (great showman) started pretending to be a dog delighted to see someone and wagging his tail and prancing around. Butti scati ena bwiya chiboyi ora maboon, Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesa basopa. And now he started acting like a vicious Alsation (German Shepherd) dog and growling and snapping and generally causing mayhem. Who wouldn’t laugh?
Now the highlight of Hungwa’s life was seeing King Jojo (George) on his Rhodesian visit when he opened the Houses of Parliament, obviously with full military trappings. My God ro shine and Hungwa would pretend to be getting blinded by the shine of the brass buttons and prancing around on a trotting horse with a haughty look and giving quite ridiculous salutes. Oh he was an Anglophile all right, so I was always surprised when he told me he knew how to speak Afrikaans. Especially as he disliked maboons so much, but I was just a kid. Eventually though, I was a teenager (around 15 years of age). So I said to him;
“Hungwa wena krumah manga kupera, wena aikona asi kanji ku krumah Afrikaans?”
Mortally offended, Hungwa replied;
“Mina asi ku krumah Afrikaans.”
So I said;
“Manga kupera, mina funda Afrikaans rapo sischooru, so, mina asi bitchana. Futi skati ro maboon shamwari ka mina ena bwiya shara na mina, wena aikona krumah na ena rapo Afrikaans? So krumah Afrikaans rapo kamina, mina funa inswa wena.
So, Hungwa replied;
I have never laughed so much, then, or since.
“Manje wena asi ini ndowa ro piccanin baas Spook ena penga bitchana. Skati mina kona ro best teacher ever?”
I always loved Hungwa and I always will. It all ended so sadly, but, maybe that’s another story?
Strange world we live in
Group dumped it
Well I made all this effort but it was a waste of time. I sent in the unfinished piece for a quick resume so far and to give me some new ideas. Well all the Afrikaans people were offended with it. Why, is of course quite beyond me? It’s not me talking here, it’s Hungwa. So what this really means is that it is quite all right to laugh at one persons expense but not at another’s? So it’s OK to laugh and poke fun at Hungwa and his kind, but, it’s not OK when the roles are reversed? His ‘grrrrrrrr’ is in actual fact a great way for a simple person to explain a very guttural language.
Which brings us all back to some reality, which is, so political correctness, which in fact is a complete load of garbage has now become commonplace everywhere? It’s very simple to manipulate people really, no matter how bright they are. All one has to do is repeat one line over and over again on the airwaves (radio)and television, and after awhile everybody believes this. It’s called propaganda. Thank God I’m deaf hey and don’t have to listen to this claptrap? I also wonder how many of the self same people, have ever laughed at me being deaf and better still being a ‘rooinek’. I’ll bet all of them so we are back to square one.
But more importantly, to not have the ability to laugh at oneself is to my mind the greatest crime of all? If I hadn’t been able to laugh at myself being deaf then normal peoples constant barbs at me would have indeed been very hard to take?
Even schoolchildren know this, or they used to?
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?”
This is the Internet
There are no secrets
Quite simply what this means is, sure you can delete my post from a group on Facebook. Makes no difference whatsoever, somewhere on the Internet there is a record of it. More importantly you cannot delete it from the Internet and many other places. I can post it on my wall, a blog, where-soever I damn well wish, so in actual fact you have achieved nothing, except of course to make me very, very, angry. Grow up people.
More importantly become aware, keep abreast of things, read things which may be being suppressed from you. It’s out there somewhere and here is a great way for you to read whatsoever pleases you.